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Combatting the "I will never be as good as..." Failure Syndrome
© Beverley Paine Children, and even adults, often give up developing their skills and talents because they fear they will never be as good as the athletes, singers, performers, writers, actors, musicians, sports men and women, etc paraded on the television and media each day. I've fallen victim to this myself. Why write a children's novel when I can never reach the dizzying heights of JK Rowling? I will never be as good as Roald Dahl... The world doesn't need another mediocre children's author...How can we combat this pervasive depression of 'ordinary' talent? The Charlotte Mason approach to homeschooling encourages "living books" - I like this, though never explored it personally with my children. I think that perhaps biographies and autobiographies (and perhaps some sensitive and more accurately portrayed movies) are a better way to introduce our children to the extraordinary abilities of others (or better still - real life encounters!) because at least they will see that these people are human and struggle with fragile egos and self-doubts the same as the rest of us. I think that shows like "Idol" might be okay if they stressed the journey more and the 'winning' less... Instead of focussing on eliminating the less popular (and therefore deemed to be less talented) perhaps the show could focus on how hard it is to be a performer (or whatever, depending on the nature of the show) - the 'staying power' required, and what drives that, the support mechanisms needed to continue in a chosen field against all odds, etc. These shows could be about character building as much as showcasing extraordinary talent. In that way EVERYONE can take something from the show instead of being voyeuristic armchair critics, knowing in their heart of hearts they will never amount to much at all. The days when families played and sang most days doesn't have to be gone forever... Maybe it is time to turn off the box, reject the magazines with their competitive messages, and have some quality family time where each person is able to explore and develop their talents in a non-competitive environment. If we can't manage to do that (and I know how hard it is to turn off the box!) then we need to work really hard to continuously give ourselves and others permission to 'be' - to 'be' exactly who they are in this moment in time (not the next or future moments years away), in this particular situation and circumstance. We need to drop our expectations of others and allow them to express themselves without need to judge them or their actions; to act rather than react with this in mind. I find that so hard - the urge to judge is amazingly strong, but then again, I was brought up to fear judgemental authority, and as a kid I knew that when I grew up I would be in a position of authority. My training was to learn how to judge, not how to accept and offer permission... Click here for a full list of articles and pages on this website. |
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Pioneering members of the home education movement in Australia, Beverley and Robin Paine are passionate advocates of true educational choice for families. They began homeschooling their children in 1986 and three years later started the South Australian Home Based Learners network.
Beverley wrote Getting Started with Homeschooling in 1995-97 and since then continues to write books and booklets on home education. She balances spending time helping home educators with working in her garden and renovating her home, as well as continuing to build her collection of writing on a variety of homeschooling subjects. Beverley maintains an extensive collection of websites as well as several Yahoo groups supporting families teaching their children at home.
In 2007 Beverley joined the HEA and was a committee member for three years during which time she edited and produced the HEA Newsletter, Stepping Stones for Home Educators magazine, annual Resource Directory and other HEA publications.
If you'd like to keep in touch with what Beverley is up to her in her life, sign up for the Homeschool Australia Newsletter or visit her Homeschool Australia Facebook page.nor do they endorse or recommend products (other than their own) listed in contributed articles, pages, or advertisements.