Welcome to The Educating Parent Beverley Paine's archive of articles about homeschooling and unschooling written over a period of 30 plus years

HomeAbout Blog Articles Curriculum Resource Directory Shop Kids Pages Facebook

Download our FREE The Educating Parent Resource Directories today! Plus... more FREE resources!

Free download a quick guide to getting started with homeschooling and unschooling by Beverley Paine The Educating Parent in this excellent Resource Directory

 

Free directory of Australian homeschooling and unschooling support groups organised by national, state and territories

 
Plan, record and report all in the one document! Always Learning Books planners available in each year level to suit your homeschooling needs, includes curriculum checklists
Australia's original homeschooling manual from veteran home educator Beverley Paine, how to write your own learning plan and curriculum to meet your child's needs
Let Beverley and friends help you design and write your own curriculum to suit your child's individual learning needs, learn how to prepare lessons, unit studies and more, record and evaluate your children's learning in this series of 3 parent workbooks developed on Beverley's popular homeschool manual Getting Started with Home School Practical Considerations
Introduction to
Home Education
  National and State
Support Groups
  Yearly Planner, Diary & Report Beverley's Original Home Ed Manual Series of How To
Parent Workbooks

Support Groups: National SA VIC NSW QLD TAS ACT NT
Registration Guides: VIC NSW QLD SA WA TAS ACT NT

Looking for support, reassurance and information?
Join Beverley's The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling Facebook online group.

 

Trying High School

© Beverley Paine

first published in August/September issue of Homeschool Australia magazine

I was asked recently what I thought about allowing children to try high school, if they asked to go. I said that I would not have denied April, or Roger or Thomas the opportunity to go to school, or try it out, if that's what they really wanted.

Because I had personally had been out of the school system so long I felt I was not equipped to judge whether or not school was/would be suitable for my children... I'm one of those folk that all too often gave in to the concept of "benefit of doubt".

When my children did go to school, during the primary school years, I found a school that I could attend with them. We basically homeschooled at school and the other children in the class copped the benefit of that!

High school was different. I enrolled for one subject at year 12 level and attended classes all year - that was an eye opener and if more parents were to head back to high school and give it a go most would be pulling their kids out quick smart! I wasn't happy that my children opted for part time high school but I didn't actively discourage it - to begin with.

I saw high school as a waste of their time and energy. I could see that the gains didn't outweigh the losses. My children saw that too... April was happy to cop that and continued but Roger dropped out after a year. Ultimately, by the time April was attending full time, we worked out that she was learning stuff at school (that had nothing to do with the school curriculum) that she couldn't learn at home, mostly because I wasn't willing to put the effort in... I wouldn't ever do that again and advise people to try their hardest to source materials and resources outside of the school system. School looks like an easy road to travel, but the excess baggage you pick up on the way isn't worth it!

I didn't like to say 'no' to my kids often. I was forever telling them 'don't say no, have a go' - the idea was that they couldn't refuse an activity (or piece of food on their plate!) without trying it first... I didn't push things on them very often. I maintained that as parent I had the power of 'veto' but that I liked to be argued with because I'm not always right and don't always have the best perspective on things, and I definitely don't know everything...

The drive or need to try high school seems to be an issue with homeschooled girls when they reach puberty. Their need to define their identity in social settings seems more acute than it does for boys and they reach this stage much sooner. I think that as homeschooling parents we need to guard against the urge to accept school as an option - because of the fact that they really are quite young... They may seem ready to handle that kind of socialisation process, but most aren't.

I get questions from parents torn between supporting their child's declared 'need' to go to school, and their conviction as parents that they should say "no". We didn't face this until April had been attending for some time. We spent a year - the first full-time year - where I ranted and raved and was totally non-supportive of school, mostly because she'd come home and whinge incessantly about school. She was 16... I think that made a difference. The whole thing almost ruined our close relationship... When she turned 17 I realised that 'school' was the thing she was studying - how people are managed, how bureaucracies are run, how people systems work... She needed to be part of a large organisation because she was learning to be a manager (she now manages a small shop). At the same time she was working up to 30 hours a week at the supermarket, so her appetite for learning this stuff was huge. We could have found another way to satisfy this need in April if we'd become more involved in our local community earlier.

I think that if the parent and child can talk about all the aspects of going to school or not going to school with openness and honesty - let each other know what you each really fear, what you think, what you hope for - then ultimately whatever happens will be for the best for both of you. Thomas and I have huge blues but we stick at it, teasing out all aspects of whatever it is we aren't agreeing on, sometimes storming off into our corners to cool off, then apologising for any 'meanness' and getting stuck into the issue again... We want to understand each other so we can work effectively together to help each other reach whatever goals we've set. I often have to back down from my position, even though I think that I know best. He demands to learn on his own terms, in his own way, and is annoyed that I work my butt off to 'protect' him... I have - very slowly - learned to trust my children, to let them make their own learning journeys - which they will, anyway, with or without me! That's the hard bit - trusting that, no matter what, all will turn out for the best, one way or another.

The thing about my children trying high school was that, unlike all the other kids there they were free to come home, whenever they wants. I made it clear to April that she didn't have to 'perform' for 'good grades' or do work that didn't make sense, although I did insist that she honour her commitments and negotiate with her teachers if she disagreed with the curriculum they had set for her. This freedom (and responsibility) made all the difference to April. She was able to quit a class because the teacher was incompetent (a judgement she made and I supported). She didn't have to do assignments or obey rules that didn't make sense, so long as she protested in an appropriate manner. Her assertiveness impressed classmates and teachers alike and the establishment didn't really know what to make of it... April didn't feel pressed to perform, get grades, or do anything that didn't feel 'right' or comfortable... We gave her the support to be herself within that environment. We talked about all this stuff a LOT at home, but then again, that was because April was intensely interested in how and why people do what they do...

I was always buoyed up by the positive family experiences of some of my best friends whose children did go to school and who were doing fine... It's not easy to get the best from school, but it doesn't have to a totally negative experience either.

Was this article helpful? Was it worth $1.00 to you? Your gift of $1 or more helps to keep this site operating offering encouragement and reassurance to families wanting better outcomes for their children.

Thank you for your gift contribution!

Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home.

Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.

"You've been an inspiration to me, I love the way
you really listen to people."
Vanessa

"Whenever I read your writing I always come away
with increased confidence in my ability to provide and
share a wonderful learning journey with my family!"
Davina

"Your guidance, understanding, support and words of
wisdom changed our lives. We now offer support and
organise many homeschooling events for others."
Lesley

"Thank you once again for your prompt and friendly service.
I am convinced that your books are going to add
quality and peace of mind to my journey of teaching my kids
at home! Just from studying your website, until almost
2am in the morning, I 've been encouraged!"
Louisa

"Thank you for all your many,many reassuring words
over many, many years. You probably don't know exactly how valuable you are to the Australian Home Education community. I've been reading your stuff for maybe 8 years or more now. And I'm very grateful."
Gythaa


CLICK HERE if you want to learn
how to write your own education plans
to suit your unique children's individual learning needs?

Or you are looking for quality curriculum and teaching tips...

Welcome to the World of Home Education
and Learning without School!

We began educating our children in 1985, when our eldest was five. In truth, we had helped them learn what they need to learn since they were born. I am a passionate advocate of allowing children to learn unhindered by unnecessary stress and competition, meeting developmental needs in ways that suit their individual learning styles and preferences. Ours was a homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning family! There are hundreds of articles on this site to help you build confidence as a home educating family. We hope that your home educating adventure is as satisfying as ours was! Beverley Paine

3 ESSENTIAL STEP BY STEP GUIDES

Getting Started with
Home Educating Series of

PARENT WORKBOOKS

#1 Create Your
Own Curriculum

#2 DIY Lesson Plans
& Unit Studies

#3 Recording and Evaluation Made Simple

$10.00 each (includes postage)

let experienced home educators Beverley, Tamara and April walk you through HOW to create a learning plan that builds on solid foundations that works for YOUR family AND ticks all the boxes for home educaton registration with part 1 of this getting started with home educating serioes of parent workbooks, Create Your Own Curriculum!
Let experienced home educators Beverley, Tamara and April walk you through HOW to create a learning plan that builds on solid foundations that works for YOUR family AND ticks all the boxes for home educaton registration!

To see the full range of Beverley Paine's books on homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning visit Always Learning Books

Tap into Beverley's experience
through her books

"Your books, your blogs helped me beyond words... they helped me to find comfort in knowing it is ok to choose exactly what is best for my family." Nisha

"Your books and information are mind blowing and already I am feeling good about this new experience." Diane

"Your guidance, understanding, support & words of wisdom changed our lives." Leslie

"I feel specially inspired by Beverley's words and, the more I read her comments, the more inspired I feel, since my need for support, respect for different parenting styles, and information are fully met." Marijo
purchase Beverley's practical and common sense books on homeschooling and unschooling
Connect with Beverley and ask questions
through her online The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling Facebook support group
.

The information on this website is of a general nature only and is not intended as personal or professional advice. This site merges and incorporates 'Homeschool Australia' and 'Unschool Australia'.

The Educating Parent acknowledges the Traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Owners, the Custodians of Australia, and pay our respects to Elders past and present and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people viewing this website.

Advertise on this site.

say goodbye to home education registration stress with this ultimate rego bundle from Fearless Homeschool

complete comprehensive step by step program that teaches you how to craft your ultimate homeschool

make homeschooling a lot easier, zero to homeschool's excellent course is here to help

Australia's best home education consultant, let Tamara Kidd guide and help you prepare your home education registration application or review

Twinkl downloadable Home education resources helping you teach confidently at home

Online science lessons for primary school aged home educating children

30% discount for purchases from ReadyEd Publications when you use the code 'homeschool' at  the checkout

reset your mindset for homeschooling success with deschooling essentials a quick course to help build your confidence as an educating parent

200 pages of templates, planning pages, tables, prompts and record sheets to organise your whole year!

subscription video art lessons by Australian artist

Australia's premier online annual conferences, lifetime access to video and audio recordings, freebies, notes and associated resource guides.

EVERY SUMMIT IS UNIQUE!

$29 each 2023 2022 2021
$25 each 2020 2019 2017

"Biggest and best Aussie homeschool event of the year!"

Home education is a legal alternative
to school education in Australia.
State and Territory governments are responsible
for regulating home education and have different
requirements, however home educating families
are able to develop curriculum and learning programs
to suit the individual needs of their children.

animated Australian flag

Without revenue from advertising
by educational suppliers and Google Ads
we could not continue to provide information
to home educators. Please support us by letting
our advertisers know that you found them on
The Educating Parent. Thanks!

Support Centre
Contact Us | Join a Support Group | Beverley's Books | Resource Directory | Blog | Donate

About The Educating Parent
Beverley Paine | April Jermey and Always Learning Books | Advertise with us

Sitemap

What is Home Education Why Home Educate Getting Started & Registering Different Ways to Home Educate
Life as a Home Educator Resources & Support Teens and Beyond Curriculum and Teaching Tips
Unschooling & Natural Learning Travelling & Home Educating Record Keeping Children's Pages

animated smiling face Thank you for visiting!

Beverley Paine, The Educating Parent
The opinions and articles included on this website are not necessarily those of Beverley and Robin Paine,
nor do they endorse or recommend products listed in contributed articles, pages, or advertisements.
This website uses browsing cookies and conducts other means to collect user information in order to display contextual ads.
Text and images on this site © All Rights Reserved 1999-2023.