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© Beverley Paine
first published in August/September issue of Homeschool Australia magazine
I was asked recently what I thought about allowing children to try high school, if they asked to go. I said that I would not have denied April, or Roger or Thomas the opportunity to go to school, or try it out, if that's what they really wanted.
Because I had personally had been out of the school system so long I felt I was not equipped to judge whether or not school was/would be suitable for my children... I'm one of those folk that all too often gave in to the concept of "benefit of doubt".
When my children did go to school, during the primary school years, I found a school that I could attend with them. We basically homeschooled at school and the other children in the class copped the benefit of that!
High school was different. I enrolled for one subject at year 12 level and attended classes all year - that was an eye opener and if more parents were to head back to high school and give it a go most would be pulling their kids out quick smart! I wasn't happy that my children opted for part time high school but I didn't actively discourage it - to begin with.
I saw high school as a waste of their time and energy. I could see that the gains didn't outweigh the losses. My children saw that too... April was happy to cop that and continued but Roger dropped out after a year. Ultimately, by the time April was attending full time, we worked out that she was learning stuff at school (that had nothing to do with the school curriculum) that she couldn't learn at home, mostly because I wasn't willing to put the effort in... I wouldn't ever do that again and advise people to try their hardest to source materials and resources outside of the school system. School looks like an easy road to travel, but the excess baggage you pick up on the way isn't worth it!
I didn't like to say 'no' to my kids often. I was forever telling them 'don't say no, have a go' - the idea was that they couldn't refuse an activity (or piece of food on their plate!) without trying it first... I didn't push things on them very often. I maintained that as parent I had the power of 'veto' but that I liked to be argued with because I'm not always right and don't always have the best perspective on things, and I definitely don't know everything...
The drive or need to try high school seems to be an issue with homeschooled girls when they reach puberty. Their need to define their identity in social settings seems more acute than it does for boys and they reach this stage much sooner. I think that as homeschooling parents we need to guard against the urge to accept school as an option - because of the fact that they really are quite young... They may seem ready to handle that kind of socialisation process, but most aren't.
I get questions from parents torn between supporting their child's declared 'need' to go to school, and their conviction as parents that they should say "no". We didn't face this until April had been attending for some time. We spent a year - the first full-time year - where I ranted and raved and was totally non-supportive of school, mostly because she'd come home and whinge incessantly about school. She was 16... I think that made a difference. The whole thing almost ruined our close relationship... When she turned 17 I realised that 'school' was the thing she was studying - how people are managed, how bureaucracies are run, how people systems work... She needed to be part of a large organisation because she was learning to be a manager (she now manages a small shop). At the same time she was working up to 30 hours a week at the supermarket, so her appetite for learning this stuff was huge. We could have found another way to satisfy this need in April if we'd become more involved in our local community earlier.
I think that if the parent and child can talk about all the aspects of going to school or not going to school with openness and honesty - let each other know what you each really fear, what you think, what you hope for - then ultimately whatever happens will be for the best for both of you. Thomas and I have huge blues but we stick at it, teasing out all aspects of whatever it is we aren't agreeing on, sometimes storming off into our corners to cool off, then apologising for any 'meanness' and getting stuck into the issue again... We want to understand each other so we can work effectively together to help each other reach whatever goals we've set. I often have to back down from my position, even though I think that I know best. He demands to learn on his own terms, in his own way, and is annoyed that I work my butt off to 'protect' him... I have - very slowly - learned to trust my children, to let them make their own learning journeys - which they will, anyway, with or without me! That's the hard bit - trusting that, no matter what, all will turn out for the best, one way or another.
The thing about my children trying high school was that, unlike all the other kids there they were free to come home, whenever they wants. I made it clear to April that she didn't have to 'perform' for 'good grades' or do work that didn't make sense, although I did insist that she honour her commitments and negotiate with her teachers if she disagreed with the curriculum they had set for her. This freedom (and responsibility) made all the difference to April. She was able to quit a class because the teacher was incompetent (a judgement she made and I supported). She didn't have to do assignments or obey rules that didn't make sense, so long as she protested in an appropriate manner. Her assertiveness impressed classmates and teachers alike and the establishment didn't really know what to make of it... April didn't feel pressed to perform, get grades, or do anything that didn't feel 'right' or comfortable... We gave her the support to be herself within that environment. We talked about all this stuff a LOT at home, but then again, that was because April was intensely interested in how and why people do what they do...
I was always buoyed up by the positive family experiences of some of my best friends whose children did go to school and who were doing fine... It's not easy to get the best from school, but it doesn't have to a totally negative experience either.
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State governments are responsible
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Different states have different
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homeschooling families are able
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programs to suit the individual
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Copyright © 1999-2008
Beverley Paine.
All rights reserved
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Please note:
The information on this website is of a general nature only and is not intended as personal or professional advice.
Pioneering members of the home education movement in Australia, Beverley and Robin Paine are passionate advocates of true educational choice for families. They began homeschooling their children in 1986 and three years later started the South Australian Home Based Learners network.Beverley wrote several books and booklets on home education through her self-publishing business, Always Learning Books. Beverley balances spending time helping home educators with working in her garden and renovating her home, as well as continuing to build her collection of ebooks on a variety of homeschooling subjects. retired from actively supporting home education in July 2008 to allow her to spend time on her garden and writing projects. She maintains an extensive collection of websites as well as several Yahoo groups supporting families teaching their children at home. Beverley continues to support the Home Education Association of Australia as a committee member and helps to produce the HEA Newsletter, publications and annaul Resource Directory. If you'd like to keep in touch with what Beverley is up to her in her life, sign up for either the Always Learning Books mailing list or the Homeschool Australia Newsletter.
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How to Order ~ Orders from Outside Australia
Click on each title to read reviews and brief descriptions of each book. |
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Getting Started With Homeschooling: Practical Considerations ISBN 1876651008, Paperback, 132 pages, AUS$25.00
Home Education Student Portfolio Reports Early Childhood Student Report Middle Childhood Student Report Early Adolescence Student Report
covers approximately year/grade level 7 to 10 (ages 12 - 15) A4, Spiral bound, 130g $6.00 (free postage)
Weekly Homeschooling Diary Naturally Learning Diary
Learning in the Absence of Education
The Homeschooling Trail:
Unschool~Kidz! Visit the Unschool~Kidz web site
also by Beverley Paine Aquadome, an underwater research station in the year 2024, is shrouded in mystery, hiding controversial genetic experiments and treacherous secrets. Psychic links draw teenagers, Katya and Coen, into an international conspiracy which threatens their very existence. 2002 Book store price...
Learning to Let Go
ISBN 1876651288 A5, stapled, 60g, 30 pages.
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PRACTICAL HOMESCHOOLING BOOKLET SERIES
Practical Homeschooling Exploring Approaches This booklet combines the notes of seven speakers at the Adelaide 2008 Homeschooling Seminar and Curriculum Fair.
Chapters in this booklet cover Charlotte Mason, Natural Learning, Unschooling, Discipleship Based, Relational homeschooling, Steiner influence, Unit Studies, and more! $4.50 (free postage)
The first in a series of booklets sharing Beverley's reflections, experience, tips and suggestions to help you become a more effective home educator.
Take the frustration out of everyday homeschooling.
Motivation in the Homeschool "If I knew twenty years ago what I know I know now about motivation home educating my children would have been a breeze! What I can say is that it is never too late to make adjustments... Despite all the 'mistakes' we made in the early years we couldn't ask for a better outcome. Our now adult children make us proud every day." Beverley packs in a lifetime of learning about how to overcome motivation obstacles into this 36 page booklet.
Answering Objections to Homeschooling
by Beverley Paine How do you answer all the questions people ask you about home education? These could be friends, family or total strangers. Beverley offers a selection of well-worn answers to over a dozen of the most popularly voiced objections to homeschooling you are likely to encounter. Includes a section on dealing with unsupportive relatives.
Write Your Own Unit Studies
Learning Maths Naturally
Frequently Asked Questions
by Beverley Paine Over 60 fundamental questions asked by families new to homeschooling are answered by Beverley in this 36 page booklet. 2004
The Spelling Process
The Writing Process
Learning to Love Reading
Developing Handwriting
Language Games You Can Play
A Sample ‘Approved' Learning Naturally Homeschooling Program & Review
Natural Learning
Learning Materials for the Homeschool
Translating Every Day Life
into Educational Jargon
by Beverley Paine . 2008
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2007 National Home Education This 4 DVD pack includes over 8 hours of conference speeches by John Taylor Gatto, Alan Thomas and Eleanor Sparks as well as the Brisbane Conference Question and Answer session. Includes Conference Notes from many of the Workshop Presenters. NHED Conference DVD $50 for International Orders [Please ensure that your TV and DVD player will handle DVD-R disc in the PAL format before purchase.]
Let's Play Together Traditional Children's Games Kathi Wyldeck's very practical Educational Games Booklets draw on her extensive educational experience with children and will help supplement your children's learning across the curriculum. Fast Games and Quiet Games
Physical and Mental Games for Families Book One Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651385, 70g $4.50 (free postage) Outdoor, Campfire, Water and Theme Games
Physical and Mental Games for Families Book Two Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651369, 70g $4.50 (free postage) Maths, English, Music and Art
Educational Games for Families Book One Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651350, 70g $4.50 (free postage)  ScienceEducational Games for Families Book Two Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651342, 70g $4.50 (free postage) History Geography, French, German and Latin Estimation, First Aid, Health, Tracking, Safety, Knotting and Navigation
Life Skill Games for Families Book One Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651377, 70g $4.50 (free postage) Character Building, Handcraft, Aussie Flags and Emblems, Discovery, Nature and Conservation, Cooking, Self Expression, Tools and Construction
Life Skill Games for Families Book Two Kathi Wyldeck ISBN 1876651393, 70g $4.50 (free postage)
STOCK TO CLEAR EDUCATION CHOICES MAGAZINE Take advantage of this opportunity to fill in any blanks in your collection of this great homeschooling magazine no longer in production.Education Choices featured columns by well-known, experienced home educators in various practical departments, such as:
$4.45 (plus postage) Issues available:
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More than 60 essays covering a wide range of homeschooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Follows the Paine family's progress from homeschooling to unschooling. An intimate and honest look at the day-to-day life spanning several years. Illustrated with clear black and white photographs and children's drawings. 
Designed to take the worry out of education and to reassure parents, these booklets are a valuable aid in the homeschool. Written by experienced home educators and teachers, each booklet offers ideas, activities or tips on how to help your children learn at home in the different subject areas. All prices include postage.
by Beverley Paine